'Eg get ekki trúað því en það virðist sem þessi maður gæti flokkast undir "Stereótýpu", fæ ekki hausinn til þess að hætta að hristast. VÁ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once Bitten... FUCK YOU!
Friday, February 21, 2003
Hey guys, we need your support – this is Dirk “Slasher” Silverberg, founder and president of Mista Bone, the OFFICIAL Great White fan club and editor of Shark Attack, the longest running GW fanzine in the world! Paul and the CJ Staff have generously offered me their editorial space for today, as the rush of publicity following last night’s total bummer of a show has exceeded the data limits of our official webpage and no one is getting the REAL story of what happened.
First though, I’d like to let the family and friends of Ty Longley, the most wickedest guitar player to ever wield an axe, that we totally fuckin’ support them in their time of need. Dudes, if any of y’all need to crash on my couch for a while, that’s totally cool with me, bros. My mom has some extra sheets and blankets and stuff, so y’all will be warm (the basement gets a little cold sometimes, but hey, at least I’ve got my independence). Also, there’s a brand new case of Milwaukee’s Best in my mini-fridge, and I just got the new Night Ranger retrospective on DVD, so maybe you can just chill out and take your mind off your troubles.
Ok, now I’d like to talk about what happened Thursday night at the Warwick, RI, show. The media, club owners, city officials, and pretty much everyone else are saying the pyrotechnics that GW uses at the beginning of every show are what caused the club to go up in flames. This is BULLSHIT! Great White has been using pyro in their stage show for DECADES without incident, and to pass judgment on the band for this is like accusing me of being a pussy just because I had a Nelson cassette in my car once (it was my little sister’s, seriously).
Obviously, Great White’s pyro guy, “LA” Bill Hardwick, knew exactly what he was doing – hell, this was the same configuration he’d used hundreds of times on the Monster’s of Rock tour in ’88! – so I decided to find out what the REAL story is so we could tell the grunge-partial media to FUCK OFF and let them know that REAL rock and roll will NEVER DIE!
Since my Escort was in the shop and I had just taken the drivetrain out of my IROC-Z so I could restore it, I called up my buddy “Diamond” Dan Dukowski who lives at his girlfriend’s apartment over on the south side (oh, and is the drummer for the fucking baddest band to hit the Rhode Island scene in years, SKuLLz of KrYst, playing next Tuesday at the Scorpion Lounge) and asked him to drive me down to the club so I could examine the evidence for myself.
And guess what I found in rubble that would’ve been located approximately backstage of the club? PITA BREAD! Why would a hard-rockin’ band like Great White need pita bread, when everyone knows that lead singer Jack Russell and the rest of the band never eat before a gig cuz’ they don’t want to kill the buzz of all the BEER and WHISKEY they’re drinking?!?! No true rock and roller would be caught dead with pita bread, so who would?
MUSLIM TERRORISTS!
Yeah, those un-American, non-rockin’ towelheads are all about that pita and falafel shit, and what better way for them to try to strike fear into the hearts of Americans then by attacking one of our most influential Rock and Roll institutions, Great White! Well, I’ve got news for you dirty fucking camel riding sons of fucks, WE WON’T BE INTIMIDATED! We will keep going to shows, buying rock albums to support the economy, and, above all else, we WILL KEEP ROCKING OUT TO THE HARD ROCK MUSIC THAT MADE AMERICA GREAT!!! SO FUCK YOU!!!
Like Jack Russell said in “Shot in the Dark”, bro:
“I have heard the golden words / You watch your step
That life is made for fools / And the devil takes the rest
I know my heart is like a fire / It burns alone
I come from somewhere else / Where grapes of ROCK are grown!”
That’s right, fuckers, your asses are going DOWN, and if you’ve got a problem with that, come visit me at Chesterfield Hall tonight at the Thin Lizzy tribute show! Fuckers!!!
Great White ROCKZ-4-EVER!
Dirk “Slasher” Silverberg
Founder/President/Editor/#1 Fan
OFFICIAL Great White Fan Club and Newsletter
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